The bright side
The concept of cult recovery often conjures up images of grief, anger, crazed outbursts, arduous therapy sessions and more. But I’d like to highlight that there IS a bright side to this healing process. Yes, there are these very real and very uncomfortable, scary and difficult times, but there is plenty that has overshadowed, or rather, cast LIGHT into these dark moments.
Finding an outlet to process and express all of my emotions and thoughts both safely and in a nonjudgemental, self-determined environment catapulted me out of the darkness. The creative process became the catalyst for the reclamation of my identity, voice, and the creation of my business Sacred Healing Art.
Creating art was an integral part in the formation of my identity. Some of my earliest memories are of creating art - if I wasn’t drawing, painting or writing, I was dancing or playing any number of instruments. Being able to explore my emotions, sensory perceptions and the environment around me through color, movement, sound and word became how I made sense of life and communicated with the world around me.
After coming out of the cults, being able to return to that familiar space of creating allowed me to recover many of the pieces of myself that I’d lost and forgotten - those missing soul fragments. Like a physical, tangible version of shamanic soul retrievals.
Within months of leaving those destructive groups, I was creating mixed media paintings that invoked all manner of spiritual and healing themes: from reclaiming our power and embracing our sexuality to supporting shadow work, shamanic journeying and spiritual awakenings, to activating chakras and deepening meditation. The works fused color therapy with crystal energy and found nature elements to shift the frequency of the observer.
The purpose:
Awaken. Heal. Evolve. Uplift.
Alchemize it
Recently I stumbled upon this incredible quote - on instagram, no less! I know, I know…
“The most advanced technology of the human species is ART.” - Comedian/Writer/Speaker Alok Vaid-Menon
Mind blown. Seriously.
Read it again. Sit with it. Consider it.
They go on to describe how we really see ourselves is through the creation of art. This quote perfectly articulates the role that art has played in my own healing.
I found through the physical action of painting, heavy emotions released and transformed. New emotions, thought patterns, and processing methods came online. All that right brain activity reconnected me with my imagination and intuition; it initiated the restoration of my identity.
It evolved into a regular practice and became a sacred ritual in which I was able to access expanded consciousness and observe, express, process, thank and release trauma. As the layers of pain dissolved, I began to see my Self. And upon completion of each piece, I inevitably felt lighter and was filled with a sense of Oneness, wholeness and deep self acceptance.
The process from gestation to birth of these works requires extensive solitude. It is in this space that I am able to gain awareness of and acknowledge my grief, shame, doubt, anger - the whole traumatic lot. Awakening to where I am in the present and actually feeling my emotions. Awareness of and being able to identify what we are feeling and where we feel it in our bodies is often the first steps for those of us in any type of recovery.
The creative process has blessed me with a way to alchemize my pain and turn it into something of beauty and impact. It has deepened and empowered my work as an actor, enhancing my ability to be in the moment while arming me with a strong point of view and artistic voice. Most importantly, it has taught me that art informs and expands itself. (It’s why you see so many artists practicing more than one discipline.) Each form feeds the other.
Art, and the creative process, IS boundless…infinite…and always available to us. It has infinite gifts available to us if we allow ourselves the time and space to tap into it.
It’s human nature
Whether you consider yourself artistic or not, it is human nature to create. Look at the world we’ve created! Not just the art, but our communities, our cultures, religions…all of it. From the Sistine Chapel to the invention of electricity to capitalism, Starbucks and space rockets; humans have created the social, cultural and physical structures of our world for time immemorial.
Whether we’re creating a cup of coffee or a symphony, we’re taking a thought, feeling or idea and bringing it to life. Call it instinct, call it our nature, call it whatever you want…it simply IS.
Humans create. It’s what we DO.
Thus, we all have the capacity and ability to create and heal through art.
Art and spirituality
I think most of us can agree that art has the power to elevate and transform us, to make us think, or even just feel good. We’ve all experienced the way a painting or piece of music or powerful film made us FEEL. The way it subtly unlocked a piece of our heart or the way it prompted us to see life from a different perspective. It adds emotional depth and beauty to this thing we call life. I wrote about this in an earlier post Frequency Shift, which you can find it HERE.
Art is also seen by many as a spiritual act in which we are connecting directly to Source/the Divine/Spirit. It’s an inherent part of the process. Creativity is Spirituality is Creativity.
Divine inspiration or intervention has been discussed for centuries by the likes of everyone from Plato to Einstein. Michelangelo was known throughout his life as “Il Divino” (the Divine one) and was considered by his contemporaries to be “sent from God to demonstrate perfection in design, sculpture and architecture.” He was also celebrated for his ability to portray thought and emotion in his subjects.
Many artists today still describe this elusive and mysterious process as one where the work is flowing “through them” as opposed to “from them” onto the canvas, page or stage.
In my experience, it does feel like a form of divining, of connecting with that higher being. It’s a feeling of being in the flow, of complete focus, relaxation, trust, certainty and freedom. It is an altered state of consciousness I liken to the altered states that many monks, shamans and healers experience when they do their work.
More importantly, it is a self-determined state independent of coercive control, programming, groupthink, force and restriction. It is simply us opening our hearts and connecting to ourselves and the Divine. There is no right or wrong. There is no good or bad. In this state our nervous system enters homeostasis, our five (and sixth) senses are activated, and we tune into our imagination. We become fully present and connected to mind/body/soul as we practice BEING in our most natural human state of creating.
Instinct injuries and identity disruptors
What happens when your innate urge to create is stifled, squashed or restricted? Have you ever experienced yourself contracting or shutting down due to an outside influence? That’s exactly what happens inside high control groups, cults and narcissistically abusive relationships.
As I’ve noted in previous posts, the undue influence, manipulation and coercive control used in those dynamics is a sure-fire way to lose your sense of Self. These slow, methodical tactics are used to disrupt your authentic identity and replace it with a new one that’s in alignment with the leader’s programming and groupthink.
Part of that manipulation, as I’ve mentioned, leads to psychic damage or as one of my therapists calls it, instinct injury. I would describe psychic damage as losing one’s trust in their perceptions beyond the five senses. It’s the obliteration of intuition and imagination. We are groomed to ignore our gut feelings, inner knowing and to suppress any original thoughts - so much so that we may lose these things all together. It even extends into the shutting down of our clairvoyance (clear-seeing) or clairsentience (clear-feeling) - which we all have by the way.
Narcissistic abuse, especially the gaslighting element, really does a number on our extrasensory abilities. When our reality is constantly being questioned and denied, we become restricted and contracted. When we are existing in this rigid, constricted way, we lose access to those abilities. We lose access to our dreams, our genius, and we lose those pathways to Divine connection and communication.
These identity dissolving tactics suppress, block and stop our innate creativity.
Human nature gets banned faster than Florida bans books in its schools.
Creative recovery
When someone has been robbed of their identity, instincts and connection with Spirit, it is paramount to restore those things and nurture the return of human nature.
I will always encourage various psychotherapies as the first and foremost course of action for those seeking trauma recovery. You cannot replace trained and licensed specialists when dealing with PTSD, C-PTSD, anxiety and depression. Period.
Additionally, I invite you to explore your own creative urges. As art has largely defined my recovery journey in this post-cult life, it’s inspired me to share this modality with all of you. Whether painting, drawing, singing or writing, these disciplines offer a safe and healthy outlet of expression and can support the restoration of your identity.
For those of us in trauma recovery (or just those of us trying-to-get-through-life-in-this-crazy-ass-world right-now), Art Alchemy can be hugely helpful to our healing, growth and sanity.
Alchemize it. Transmute it.
A regular artistic practice can transform us from wounded versions of ourselves into newer versions that feel more whole, authentic, and healthy. Once you start creating, you might surprise yourself. See where it leads you…
Join the upcoming art alchemy workshop
If what I’ve shared here today peaks your interest and you live in the Los Angeles area, come create your own healing artwork at the second Art Alchemy Painting Workshop on Saturday, August 5!
This three-hour event is designed for anyone interested in healing through art as well as those looking to start their artistic practice, expand their creativity or deepen their spirituality through art. We’ll practice techniques to get us out of our heads, release the inner critic and judgement, and explore what healing looks like through the creative process. Each participant will have ample time to create their own functional healing artwork using color therapy and crystal medicine.
The Art Alchemy Painting Workshop will be held at Liberate Yourself in Sherman Oaks, CA from 2-5pmPST. All skill levels welcome and no prior training or experience is necessary. The entry fee includes the cost of art supplies and a selection of crystals. And you’re welcome to bring your own crystals, feathers, shells or other talismans, too. Wear something comfortable you don’t mind getting messy in and come ready to meditate, move, play and paint!
Find out all the details and sign up via Eventbrite HERE or via Liberate HERE.
Looking forward to creating together!
Sacred Healing Art
If you’d like more information about my artwork or are interested in commissioning a piece for yourself or someone else, please visit my website HERE. Select pieces are also available on the website as well as on Etsy HERE.
And next month, Sacred Healing Art turns two! The birth of my business IS the light that came out of those dark cult times. It is enormously rewarding to see it growing, expanding and stronger than ever. To celebrate, I’ll be doing a very cool giveaway as a big big thank you for seeing, honoring and supporting me! Details will be announced soon on instagram, so please give a follow at: sacredhealing_art.
In the words of…
And in the name of ART, I’ll leave you with one more quote. This, from one of my favorite writers Kurt Vonnegut:
“Look, practice an art, no matter how badly or how well you do it. It will make your soul grow.” That’s why you do it. You don’t do it to become famous or rich. You do it to make your soul grow. This would include singing in the shower, dancing to the radio by yourself, drawing a picture of your roommate or writing a poem or whatever. Please practice an art. Have the experience of becoming. What’s important is to have the experience of becoming, which is as necessary as food or sex. It’s really quite a sensation—to become.”
Let’s get out there and make some art! Thank you, as always, to all you lovely readers for being a part of this post-cult life.
Post-Cult Life is intended to inform readers about cults and narcissistic abuse as well as provide spiritual and artistic insights on healing from this specific type of complex trauma. As such, I discuss multiple healing modalities that work for me. If you’re curious to learn more about those or have general questions, thoughts or ideas for future posts or collaborations, you can email me at info@sacredhealingartla.com. Thank you for being a part of this community!
If you are looking for additional cult recovery resources and information on the nature of cults, here is what I have found to be accurate and useful:
right here on Substack.
the work of Steven Hassan, PhD. and his Freedom of Mind Resource Center
the work of Dr. Ramani
The Vow on HBO
WTF is on My Mind?! podcast
Trust Me podcast