Welcome to Post-Cult Life
Reclaiming my sense of self and trauma recovery from a spiritual perspective.
There’s more to life than this
In the 14 years I spent in not one, but TWO cults, I have seen the most malicious and evil of human behavior. It’s ugly, it’s scary, it’s deeply humiliating, painful and profoundly lonely to exist within that environment. I experienced the loss of my freedom, my sense of self, my spirituality and my desire to live. My intuition was practically obliterated and as is referenced in the Shamanic world, I experienced soul loss - in the world of psychology this is known as disassociation.
In the nearly two years since leaving, I have seen some of the most compassionate, loving and kind acts of human behavior. Approaching my healing through a number of spiritual practices in tandem with traditional therapy, I’ve shifted into a space of forgiveness and an understanding of why I endured the suffering I did. And to be clear, this was not an easy space to get to - there were many “dark nights of the soul” and there will probably be more. But I am courageously and fiercely committed to healing and to sharing my journey thus far. The process of remembering who I am has begun. My intuition and psychic ability are back online. I can hear my heart. Lost soul fragments are returning and retrieval is underway. I’ve become more deeply attuned to my truest, purest and highest self.
When I think back to those cult days of despair, terror and confusion, I am filled with gratitude for that tiny piece of me, that little voice that refused to be squelched that whispered, “There’s more to life than this.”
An end to the culture of silence
What I experienced in these toxic groups was that most truths were silenced, questioning the authority figures was a no-no and any attempt to speak up about abuse or unethical, questionable behavior was met with gaslighting or attack. In fact, any independent thought or opinion that was not in alignment with the leader’s agenda or groupthink mentalities was silenced.
Post-Cult Life is a space for truth - the uncomfortable, unbelievable, unfathomable, unapologetic TRUTH. This is a space intended to support and inspire those who have suffered at the hands of narcissistic and abusive personalities and groups; for those who are beginning to question if they are in such an environment; and for those wanting to escape but aren’t quite ready yet and are looking for support. You are not and never were crazy, or wrong, or at fault, and you didn’t deserve this. You are not broken, ruined, damaged, and it’s definitely not too late to accomplish all that you wish to in life. I encourage you to speak out, share the truth and know that you are never alone in this. I offer you this beam of light and hope, that you can more than just survive this. I offer a paradigm shift, an alternate reality that is available to you in your healing. There IS a light at the end of this tunnel.
Post-Cult Life is a space to educate, explore and challenge those who judge, ignore, justify, rationalize and normalize abuse because “it didn’t happen to you.” This space is intended to wake you the fuck up. If you’ve ever thought “oh that would never happen to me” or “those people only got abused because they allowed it or they were too weak or or or “I invite you to continue reading…I invite you to go within and examine if you’ve played a role in enabling abuse and the culture of silence. I am reminded of a quote from the texts of a “do-good” religious cult, “Evil exists because good people allow it.” (Now that’s a little bit ironic, don’t you think?).
There are far too many perpetrators of this premeditated emotional and physical violence walking among us in every culture and industry across the world. It does not discriminate and thanks to the media this kind of behavior has been normalized and as with many other horrific acts of violence we are becoming more and more desensitized to it. It’s just another 10 second clip in the onslaught of nightly news reports of death and destruction. The world is wounded. We cannot afford to continue walking in shame, fear and silence, lest we perpetuate this cycle of abuse and damage. And we cannot afford to stay in the vibrational frequencies of victimhood, hate, blame, retaliation and vengeance. We must WAKE UP.
May this be a space where you are both comforted and challenged. Ultimately, the more we share our stories, the less stigma and the greater the collective understanding, healing and desire to eradicate these abuses. It’s time to start getting honest with ourselves and each other.
This beautiful healing mess
Healing is serious stuff. It’s not for the weak-willed. Having compassionate support and encouragement is essential as we process through the layers of grief, rage, shame, anger, embarrassment and more. It is of the utmost importance that I share with you truthfully and vulnerably to provide a resonant frequency for you and your healing experiences.
Post-Cult Life will be a free weekly subscription series detailing the many colors of my personal healing journey. From my spiritual practices, insights and resources to my challenges and growing pains, it’ll all be here. This will not be some airbrushed, social-media-curated-version of my best life fully-healed self. That is a lie. You will witness my joy, anger, peace, self-doubt, frustration and happiness because that is the truth. And it’s all part of this beautiful healing mess.
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